H e l l o!

I'm Lala Rahim. Blogger based in Malaysia. Just a girl who never stopped to appreciate the beauty above me.

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For advertising, collaboration, sponsorship, event coverage, product review etc, kindly reach me at lalarahim@hotmail.com


H e l l o!

I'm Lala Rahim. Blogger based in Malaysia. Just a girl who never stopped to appreciate the beauty above me.

View my complete profile

For advertising, collaboration, sponsorship, event coverage, product review etc, kindly reach me at lalarahim@hotmail.com

People says,

"Kalau kau mahu cintakan seseorang, kau kena cari kelemahan dia, keburukan dia dahulu dan kau perlu cintakan buruknya dia itu baru kau boleh mula cintakan kebaikkan dia."

Yes. I know. Dan bila sampai pada aku, baru aku faham kenapa. Sebab cinta itu kadang buta, cinta sebabkan terikut hawa nafsu. Sebab itu kalau kau nampak manusia sekarang cintakan kekasihnya kerana apa yang dia nampak hanyalah kebaikkan lover dia sampai dia jadi buta tak nampak keburukkannya. Bak kata orang, taik pun rasa coklat. Ha'ah lepastu nanti mulalah bergaduh bertengkar bila dapat tahu buruknya dia. Benda ni terkena pula pada aku. I never know that person. Aku taktahu. Dan sekarang baru aku nampak depan mata kepala tangan kaki semua nampak. Keburukkan dia. Yang paling aku benci. Sampai aku tak sanggup, sampai cawan berisi penuh air favourite aku, aku hempaskan ke tanah. Sakit. Sakit hati. Ya Allah.. tak sangka. Im feeling down. Super weak. Kaki ini pada saat itu melangkah dengan lemah saat aku tahu kelemahan dia. Ah, aku bodoh. Aku yang silap. Tak check dulu dia siapa, dia macam mana. "Sekarang, kau nak buat apa, lala? Kau dah dapat tahu so kau decide nak tinggalkan dia?" Kalau aku mampu. Ye, itu kalau aku mampu. Im afraid. I was surrounded with decisions now. Aku tahankan air mata dari mengalir kerana lelaki. Hell No. Air mata aku takkan aku tumpahkan kerana seorang lelaki. Aku tak boleh buat keputusan dalam keadaan hati yang tidak stabil, yang masih keliru sebab nanti aku tahu aku yang akan menyesal. Aku marah. Bukan pada dia. Bukan salah dia. Tapi aku sendiri yang... stupid. Pada saat itu, mood aku jadi, tiada mood? Lol. Aku dah takde perasaan nak cakap dengan dia lagi. I was like, lantak kau lah. Hidup kau, dunia kau. Siapa je aku? Aku ni cuma seorang kawan perempuan bagi dia. Tak lebih malah kurang daripada seorang kawan hampir nothing aku ni bagi dia. Itu yang aku sedar sangat, sebab tu aku takde lah nak control dia, marah dia ke apa kan.. Ahha takpelah lala, you deserve better. Maybe. I know right, there's no heart feeling between me and him. Pardon? ahha.

Akhirnya aku ada satu solution, ka ching. Aku pasrah sehabis mungkin, sebab jodoh itu Allah sudah pun tentukan. Di Lauh Mahfuz, dah tercatat nama aku dan jodoh aku tuh *ehem tak tahu lagi siapa tau jangan pepandai jangka* Finally, i let it all go. Aku biarkan sahaja, aku hanya layan dia seperti biasa, seorang kawan. Andai tiada jodoh, namun still ada silaturrahim, ada juga ukhuwah sesama saudara Islam. Apa yang baik, aku nasihatkan, aku tegur. Untuk kepentingan diri dia sendiri, bukan untuk aku. Betul cakap my friends, dunia ini luas banyak lagi orang yang akan kau jumpa. Umur aku baru 19 weh. Hidup aku juga bukan untuk cari pasangan, tetapi cari bekalan untuk ke akhirat. Aku pun khalifah jugak di bumi ini, dia juga khalifah. Moga kita semua dikurniakan hidayah dari Allah. Selagi seorang manusia itu hidup, selagi itu ada perubahan.

If I can change, why cant him? 


Hati ini pada akhirnya aku kosongkan, aku perlu baiki semula sebab dah hancur macam kaca kena blend. Need time, moga istiqamah dear self. Biarkan dia.. aku tahu dia bule hidup ada aku atau tanpa aku, sebab diakan ada Allah. Me eitha. Sekarang aku berada di tengah, tidak hairan sungguhpun dia tinggalkan aku atau dia still nak berkawan dengan aku. The feeling was never exist between us. Aku fikir, takpelah. Andai ada lelaki yang baik mahukan aku yang selekeh ni ahha, pastu lelaki tu pulak serious gila sampai berani face-to-face with my parents, aku.... terima jelah. Tapi nak kena kenal jugak sebelum berkahwin. Tak gitu? Its okay lala. Jangan sesedih lagi, live it. Ahha, kesian aku pujuk diri sendiri je. Loser. Dia tanya aku kenapa, alah over worried dia tuh, aku pendam. Kali ni memang aku takkan bagitahu dia kenapa, malah dalam entry ni pun aku tak bagitahu detail masalah aku kenapakan. Ahha. Alah aku ni pun satu, bila sedih dah takda orang mulalah tangan rajin menulis meluahkan pada blog.. Oh pandai kau lala.. Haha.




Ya Allah.. saat aku dekatkan hati ini untuk mengenali Penciptaku, rasa lebih tenang dan tidak perlu risau apa-apa pun, sebab ada Yang Maha Esa. Sungguhpun ada batu nak hempap aku, aku langsung tak kesah, sebab... ada Dia.


Lupa. Tadi you guys baca ayat pertama, people says bla bla bla.. Dan sekarang aku beritahu something. Ye, aku dah pasrah. Waving white flag. Kelemahan dia? Keburukkan dia? Yang satu, dua atau mungkin thousand buruknya dia but... Im still. Stay for him. Because I remember of what I said to him. Together. Sama-sama kita positifkan yang buruk itu sebab manusia buat salah, buat dosa. He's making mistake so do i. Jangan kerana satu kesalahan itu membuatkan kita lupa kebaikkan seseorang. Andai aku boleh berubah bersama-sama dengan dia, sebab apa yang aku nampak pada dia sebenarnya aku nampak akhirat bersama-sama dengan dia. Ehh. Kalau tak jodoh pun persahabatan betul tak? Hmm. Apa yang aku inginkan dari dia adalah bersama-sama tempuh dunia akhirat ini. Kecuali kalau aku sorang je yang berusaha dan dia langsung tak peduli, dia dengan dunia dia, langsung tak fikir future, sorry to say. Kau memang bukan untuk aku. Aku doa agar Allah jauhkan aku dari manusia yang tidak menghargai aku, yang berniat menyakiti aku. Nauzubillah. Anyway.. aku dapat rasa apa dia rasa. Sebab jiwa dia sama dengan aku. Sekepala maybe.

Dear you... you're not in my heart. But you're in my du'a. Why? Because people's heart can change. Easily. So do you. Fi hifzillah my dear, the only person I call, dear. May you'll always be safe. Im sorry. Cause we're not like others, we're not always meeting, and.. we're dont even have any memories to be share. But you, at one particular place, all i saw was you.


Ya Rabb,
Open my little heart
and give this first love
only for a man
that his name had written
for me.
Allah tidak melihat pada permulaanmu, tetapi pengakhiranmu.


Sometimes when I sat silently and muhasabah myself. I was thinking, why I hijrah masa dulu? Im wondering what's my point? Am I sincere? "Lala... are you sincere with yourself?" that unwanted voice came out of the blue, haunting me that moment. I was crying. I really disappointed with myself. If I really changed, why cant I leave my bad behaviour? Why Im still committing the same sins? Why cant I forget what I've done? And why lala... why, you're still looking at your past photos and you were thinking of being like that again..?

And I stop. This is...
What I dont want to happen. I dont want this hijrah! I dont want to dressing labuh-labuh macam ni. I dont want to such a very veeerrry gewd girl! This isnt Lala. This isnt ME! This is wrong, wrong step. Im not sincere. Well I was being culture shock since I entered university of doing foundation. I saw all women were wearing hijab, and I was only one girl who wasnt wearing hijab in my class, lepastu hijrah pun sudah macam trend. What is this??

He's right.. Im easy to get influenced. I admitted that. I think, but I was lucky. Well at least, I'M TRYING! Eventhough Im not sincere what I am doing now, but Im trying, Im learning, daripada tak tahu, lebih baik belajar. There's a wisdom why I hijrah.

After entered university again, kali ni pursuing degree pulak, God sent me friends which diorang sangat social and tak seperti macam my friends yang ala2 ustazah, alim-alim bagai. No, diorang tak seperti itu. But you know what, these friends are far much better than my friends yang tersebut. Even diorang social tapi jaga aku, even diorang perangai macam sial tapi still ingat Tuhan. They said.. "Lalaa... kita semua buat dosa.." At first aku dah macam terpengaruh sikit dengan diorang, hati aku goyah, iman aku semakin berkurangan.. Allahu.. inilah dugaan paling berat. Dan akhirnya aku lalai. I failed. Again. Hidup ini adalah pilihan, kita diberi dua jalan iaitu jalan kebaikan dan jalan kejahatan. I wasnt blame on them. I really sincere to be their friends. They're make me cheers, make me happy, make me open up my eyes and see this world! The world that full of life. Sebenarnyakan, tak salah berkawan dengan sesiapa sekalipun, biarpun diorang jahat atau baik, itu sendiri pilihan kita nak jadi macam diorang ke tak, siapa suruh kau terpengaruhkan. Salah kau lah. Akhirnya aku faham.. aku faham dah kenapa aku berhijrah awal-awal. Sebab inilah.. sebab kalau aku jumpa kengkawan aku sekarang ni, pasti aku akan jadi sial lebih teruk. Pasti aku akan jauh daripada Allah. Ya Allah.. alhamdulillah... I really comfortable to be their friends. Fandi, Aisyah and Jihan were my close-friends right now, for degree. They really taught me about life memandangkan aku baru 19 tahun, budak hingusan yang masih merangkak baru nak tengok dunia luar dan aku yang paling muda antara mereka. Sebelum aku terjerat dengan dunia, diorang banyak gila nasihatkan aku, marah aku also. Because I was the one who being a stupid. And about love also. I rather to be friends with them than be friend with this friend, named initial Z. Dia memang extremely alim, selalu tegur aku dan kadang aku sangat rimas teguran dia sebab aku perasan yang dia mencari kesalahan aku! Aku tahulah okay dia penghuni syurga bagai, tapi seriously dia dah lukakan hati aku tanpa dia sedar. Inikah kawan? Dia cela masa lampau aku lagi. Aku ni taktahu agama, tak belajar agamalah katanya. Ah pastu aku tinggalkan dia dan aku jumpa kengkawan baru ni. See, Allah bukakan mata aku. Allah tunjukkan mana benar mana salah.

Im still muhasabah myself. This moment, I want to get up. Slow-slow berubah sekali lagi. Nampak tak loser gila aku ni. Ikhlaskan hati. Tak mengapa, Allah Maha Pengampun. Selagi aku masih hidup, aku akan buat kesilapan dan belajar. I cant stand alone, I need to move in group. Macam join usrah semula, baca buku ilmiah and join any activities about religion. Haa thats all. At the same time, I wont leave my friends, they're really kind bagi aku, aku terima walau macam mana pun buruknya diorang, aku terima seadanya. Diorang je kengkawan aku dalam class ni, takde yang rapat selain mereka. Tapi dalam UPM ni aku memang ramai friends, kengkawan masa foundation dulu.

And Im still keep on muhasabah.. Why Allah presenting him in my life? When I think about myself, the past me. I was a bit socializing, im easy-outgoing and meet people randomly. Especially guys. Well I love to be friends with guys more than girls. Well, tipulah kalau kata tak mahu ada serious relationship, tak terfikir untuk berkahwin dan tak ingin bercinta. Itukan fitrah manusia. Its common thing. Yes, i admit it. I ever once think about having a serious-relationship, be in love and want to marry a man. But I was wrong at first. Of what I am doing masa couple-couple dulu, itu semua cinta monyet. It is not love. Love shuld be flow in Allah's way. Cinta sepatutnya mestilah ingin bersama-sama selamanya sampai ke syurga, ada ke sampai neraka? Of what I did in past semuanya menjerat ke lembah neraka. And alhamdulillah after hijrah, I stop everything. No coupling nor scandaling even crushing to any guy pun takde. Masa hijrah dulu hanya focus ingin mencari keredhaan Allah sahaja. Tak terfikir untuk berkahwin langsung sebab hati aku dah tertutup sepenuhnya pada lelaki sampaikan kawan advising me, jangan sampai macam tuh. Entahlah, keras hati ni. I felt like there's no feeling for guy no more sebab aku rasa dah tiada lelaki yang baik di dunia sebab dulu ex semua macam sial, so dia effect until now. I dont believe them. And loves, couples. That was wrong! I only believe love after married. Selagi tak berkahwin selagi tu aku takkan setia dan takkan bercinta. Itu prinsip aku. And so Allah, why Allah met me and him at this early moment? we're 19y. Muhasabah lagi, mencari persoalan. Rupa-rupanya aku dah dapat satu. His presence make me learn about loyalty. Serious aku cakap, tanpa dia aku takkan insaf punya! aku takkan rasa bersalah pun chatting dengan lelaki, keluar dengan lelaki. Everytime when I talk with guys, or met or near to them mesti aku akan fikirkan dia. Mesti terbayang-bayang dia. I think, I have him right now, buat apa perlu mencari lagi. He's perfect for me just the way he is. The one that I've been waiting for. Dialah, dialah orang yang aku perlukan. I need his strength to keep standing. Actually, I dont even know him totally, I dont meet him oftenly. I dont know whether he can stay loyal with me, he lie or not that was unsure. But its okay.. I dont depends on him, I can do it by myself. He's got his own life, Im nothing. I always get used to it, even with or without him, that doesnt even break me.

So whats up with me now?
Slowly, i took a step to change myself to be better day by day. Im staying away from people that know me. Im finding a piece of myself again. Kalau nak kenal diri sendiri, kena kenal Penciptanya dulu. Yes. Tarbiyyah. Cari hidayah setiap hari. Even kalau dah banyak kali jatuh, ni dah sampai tersungkur berdarah, akan bangun jugak walau sakit mana. Takpe, mungkin aku akan kehilangan kengkawan sebab kekadang they all ask me to go out but I refused. Everytime. I wish that they could understand. I wish that I wasnt a social girl who loves to hangout. Even berseronoklah kerap mana sekalipun, tapi hati tetap rasa kosong. Sepi.

Its okay.
One day I'll come back
in a new perspectives
in a new spirit
in a just the way I am.

Moga dikurniakan huznul khatimah. Amin.
Hello. and Im back. Sorry for neglecting my blog too much, Imma way too busy and even will be sitting for a test tomorrow. There's something I have and need to tell here. I think that by saying this thru blog, which make me feel better than confess it to people such family or friends.. I wanna share here about my life now. I know that this is too difficult for me. Well I met new people, new environment, new culture. Of what I hv been seen now there's an obstacle shuld I face. Whether I win or lose that was the second matter.

Aight, ya know. I am not that alone. I will always be under His seen. 

I met some wrong people in which I expected them will become my close friend as well. But I am totally wrong! I made mistakes. Ye, everyone makes sins. Lotsa. And my mistake was I am too much expecting! So since I know that my friend which I expected was good, but now I am trying to avoid that friend. All praise to Allah that He opened my eyes and now I got my new friends which we're become close in just a hour! I really comfortable with them. You know what, once when I feel comfortable with people, they are the real one! Serious to say, we all have heart, have naluri semua in which we can feel what is right or what is wrong. It is not easy to find a good friend. Its okay..



Since I involved in a new culture, in addition, my course kan Communication, so kena style lah sebab interacting and socializing with people but this kind of social bukan macam liar k kat luar sana. This kind of social is in a good environment. So I just need to be open-minded, keluar dari kepompong kekolotan and do what I want to do. I know which one is right or wrong. Sekarang ni, we're just niat, Lillahi Ta'ala. Jaga diri bebaik, jangan buat maksiat dan Tuhan akan jaga kau, isnt? Nowadays, people were being such extreme! Dulu mana ada. Sekarang dah banyak trend fashion doh. Pakai itulah pakai inilah padahal kalau kau dah rasa benda itu sebenarnya dah elok dah pun, tak payah la extreme sangat. Aku ar paling jadi mangsa dengan seorag kawan ni. Yelah.. aku tahu dialah bidadari syurga, aku ni bidadari neraka.. Dosa pun berbakul-bakul, tapi agaklah.. Life is an option. Kau pilih jalan bengkang-bengkok, kau mungkin akan sesat, kau pilih jalan straight, in shaa Allah kau jumpa pintu keluar. Agaklah sampai kesalahan aku perlu ke kau tag a photo which show my mistake. Tolonglah, tak payah extreme sangat weh. Aku pelik sikit zaman sekarang, extreme gila padahal dulu-dulu mana ada. Aku paling tak suka benda yang mudah dirumitkan. Kau ni hidup zaman batu ke. Nak tegur orang bukan cenggitu caranya.

So my new friends now, i feel better when I meet Aisyah, Jihan and Fandi. They're such gila-gila and terrible! Perangai setan gak macam aku. Bila bukak mulut bercerita, sampai sakit mulut aku asyik ketawa tak sesudah. Yang aku perasan this member, bila dah seronok-seronok akhirnya membuka cerita tentang pengajaran yang diperoleh. "People sekarang mudah kena culture shock, apepun kau kena jadi diri kau sendiri. Kena ada pendirian tetap." Ya, definitely. Sumpah first time kata-kata Jihan membuatkan aku terfikir yang sangat mendalam, deepnya. Aku pun culture shock jugak dulu masa study foundation, semua bertudung pastu aku sorang je tak bertudung. At last aku bertudung, ceh macam tak ikhlas pulak sebab ikut trend. Almaklumlah culture shock. Now memang aku sedar sangat! I need to be myself. The real me was The Past, Now, and Forever. Cuma yang berbezanya, I covered which I shuld cover it off, dah stop scandaling and coupling, dah stop mencarut in publicy, jaga batas dan jaga ibadah. Semuanya aku buat kerana Allah weh.. He gave me everything, aku je buta tak hargai. Ya Allah.. moga aku dikurniakan Huznul Khatimah. Biarlah aku hidup di dunia ni learn lots of things, cari ilmu, cari pengalaman, cari agama dan pengajaran. Biar semua tu menyedarkan aku. Aku tak kesahlah pahala ke dosa ke. Kita masuk syurga kadang bukan sebab amalan, kadang sebab rahmat/belas kasihan dari Allah. Syurga tu milikNya. Dia nak campakkan hamba dia di mana-mana sahaja yang Dia kehendaki dan kita di dunia carilah rahmat Allah, buat baik dengan parents paling penting, yang dah kahwin tu taatlah pada suami dan jangan buat orang disekeliling kau benci dengan kau sebab perangai kau yang annoying dan tak sedar diri tuh! Fandi kata kat aku, "Alaa Lala... semua orang buat dosa. kita semua takkan pernah terlepas...".

And moreover, I dont know how to express the feeling. I have someone which is everything to me. Of course, special one. Nak kata couple pun tak, bercinta lagilah tak! But aku sendiri tak tahu what is my feeling towards him sebab aku pun memang tak percaya Love. Aku hanya trust one thing kalau bercinta sesama manusia, iaitu after nikah. As a husband and wife. Now, cinta aku memang hanya pada Tuhan. Kalau nak tahu, there's few people yang aku sayang. SAYANG. And the way I love them semua sama level. Parents, siblings, bestfriends and close-friends and boyfriend memang takde ar but only him. Why? Because family, kawan, suami, anak-anak itukan semua pinjaman sementara. Allah bule tarik bila-bila je. Mereka takkan kekal bersama kita. Ye, walaupun parents. Cuba korang fikir.. Aku bukan jenis yang suka labelling, levelling people. Yang utama dan cinta aku hanya pada Tuhan and then after Allah, barulah Prophet Muhammad, parents, siblings, friends ape semua. Dan yang terakhir apa? Myself. Diri aku sendiri. Imma selfish person, but only towards strangers lah dan aku sanggup terluka daripada melihat golongan yang aku sayang ni terluka. Aku tak bule kalau mereka merajuk dengan aku. Aku akan pujuk sampai okay! Sanggup aku abaikan diri, tak makan just kerana mereka yang aku sayang. Hm.. sungguh ar, aku nak cari lelaki yang bule jaga hati aku pulak, of course a husband lah kalau gitu. Payah nak ambil hati aku sebenarnya. Wakaka. Ni dah lari tajuk. Aight, I dont know how to tell him. To explain. Seems like he cant understood me well, whats is going surround me. To think twice, who am I to him? Well I try to ask him, tricky him nak suruh dia bukak mulut ar kenape pilih aku en. Serious ar aku cakap, even kalau dia nak gaming aku, takkan bule ar buat sebab ikutkan hati aku ni dah memang lunyai, hancur. Nak permainkan macam mana lagi? Dia nak duit aku? haha.. aku pun mintak duit parents! Makan pun pakai mealplan card. Haha. And the worst is yang lelaki inginkan, tett.. faham2 jelah. Haha, ingat senang nak dapat? But I think takde pulak dia jenis cemtu, harap-haraplah. Furthermore, I rarely meet him and tak pernah keluar pun dengan dia kemana-mana. Ah, penat aku perah otak apa yang dia nak sebenarnya??! Im not a gewd girl, kadang baik kadang sial sikit. Hmm.. jadi nak apa?? You're telling me why.. I sometime think, kenapa Allah hadirkan dia muncul dalam hidup aku eh? Whether as a blessing or lesson. And if he cant accept me just the way I am, he can find another girl. Another innocent and gewd girl. Not like me. Ego and Jealous. Hm.. that two feelings. I know both of us have that two feelings. Yang pasti hadirnya dia buat aku belajar untuk setia. Almaklumlah aku dulu jenis yang tak stick pada satu, pantang nampak yang handsome semua nak sapu. Tiap kali aku outing kan, berpoya-poya, aku taktahu kenapa aku bule teringatkan dia time tengah berseronok, atau aku memang cenggitu? Kata pada diri, "Lala.. kalau kau setia, dia pun akan setia pada kau. Kalau kau buat maksiat, dia pun buat maksiat." Terus aku control diri aku, jalan pandang boutique/baju/kasut/make up daripada cuci mata. Kan.. itulah yang aku rasa sekarang. Tapi bila study, memang aku akan dahulukan ilmu. Mungkin betullah, hadirnya dia memberi pengajaran buat aku, as a partner susah senang. If kalau betullah dia orangnya, kalau betullah his existence as a blessing, he shuld trust me, accept the way I am and just like me! Apa yang aku rasa, dia pun rasa. Apa yang aku buat, dia pun buat benda yang sama. Ini macam a chemistry secara kebetulan dan tanpa disedari you know, yang tahu hanya Ilahi. Hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu, yang mengatur, menentukan dan menilai. Moga dia titipkan rasa cinta di antara aku dan dia. Yes, love. Love that come from Allah, bukan cinta-cinta stupid yang kerana nafsu semata-mata. Ini cinta, dunia akhirat. Sekarang? hm. belum lagi. Aku pun nak tengok sejauh mana dia bule tahan dengan aku. Tapi aku tak suka bila dia mengelak daripada persoalan aku. Still, im wondering what he wants?

He have worries in which if i turn back to be like in the past. Ahha. You know, I never change. Dulu sekarang semua sama je. Apa yang change adalah mengikut jalan Allah. Aku tutup apa yang terbuka, kembali pada Ilahi semula. He's actually does not worry about my safety, healthy ke hape semua but he shuld worry if aku dah tawar hati. Sebab bila aku dah tawar hati, dah putus asa dengan seseorang tu, dah memang takleh lagi, aku akan tinggalkan macam tu je. I dont care. Ada banyak lagi lelaki lain. Entahlah... susah sangat nak cakap, bagi nasihat pun macam tak lut je. Heyy jarang gila aku bagi nasihat kat orang, sebab dulu aku jenis pengaruh orang buat benda jahat, drag them to da hell. Hanya orang tertentu sahaja yang aku akan giving advice, caring semata-mata semua ke jalan Allah (sekarang nilah). But entahlah sama ada dia memang memain or dia dengar tapi tak endah or dia pick up my words tapi diam-diam je entahlah. Buang masa bercakap dengan orang tak hargai sebenarnya. Tunggu masa je aku nak blah if he give a shit, but if and only if he's giving a damn for me. Aku tak kesah pun.. its fine. Takde terfikir nak tinggalkan dia macam aku tinggalkan yang lain tu, because to be compared he and guys before him, dia yang paling aku jujur dan tak hipokrit and everything I guess. Now I just go with the flow. Aku pilih dia pun sebab naluri hati, tawakal pe semua malas nak mention sini. Tiada selain itu rasanya. Benda tak pasti I guess I dont need to think like crazy. Doa jelah bebanyak. In shaa Allah. Yang aku harap both of us be together, saling memerlukan untuk melengkapi dan memuliakan supaya dapat sama-sama menuju jalanNya.
Memandangkan aku dan dia pun perangai macam hape, harapnya bersatu agar saling mengingati -.-

"Cinta yang sebenar adalah ingin bersama ke SyurgaNya,
maka,
Apa-apa sahaja yang membawa ke Neraka 
Itu bukan Cinta namanya" - Hilal Asyraf.


Assalamualaikum. Hello people! I've been quite busy with the week of orientation.

Hectic. Tired. Sleepless.

The orientation week has been running for a week. Okay first, lemme tell you. On 2 September, I had registered myself as a UPM student. Mahasiswi. Alhamdulillah, everything went well during the registration. Well, I got the bottom level for my room due of having an asthma. What a luck . Ahha. So after take out the things to my room, my parents brought me to Bangi to have a lunch there.


At  photo clock.gif 4.30pm, the orientation had started. We've got no time to rest! I also make new friends there . I see there's so many friends who aged above than me. Im the only one who is 19y/o, they all ramai yang 20 and 21. Too young for 19y/o students who are pursuing degree. Alhamdulillah... rezeki masing-masing. Muda -muda dah buat ijazah. At night, all the new intake students were gathered at Dewan Besar, UPM to have a various topics of briefing.



Before and after. Still messy. Okay this is the old picture. I'll deco it more. Tengoklah nanti..

Mum and dad, who were accompany me during registration day. We were heading to UPM.


This is at my faculty. We had a brief about our course. I see student who were taking same bachelor with me is about 86 peoples. At Faculty Bahasa Moden dan Komunikasi.


Well. Looks like in an office, with a little swag handbeg on the desk. Ahha. Im registering my course thru online. 19 credits as well! Itu dah lebih actually. Demmit.




They were fighting cheers among the colleges. Too much fun! 




Thats all from me. I will update more about how my life begin as a University student who pursuing degree in Bachelor of Communication. See ya soon. 


29 August 2013

That night, little brother switch off the light and screamed
"Surprise !"

Haha. Epic fail. Yes, its my 19th birthday yesterday  photo themo10.gif. Didnt celebrated the birthday like grand but anyway it is more than enough. The birthday wishes, some advices, du'a. More than enough. Im happy. So here some speeches from my friends. I kinda overwhelmed. 

So here's from my murabbi, Lina. My bestfriend, Farah Adeeba and my special-more-than friend!  I love them. Thanks to all of you, such nice words. My family who wished me yesterday. 


Amboi.. these kids who busy talking about me thru whatsapp. They're my ex-roommates during pursuing study of foundation in UPM. Memang gini selalu. Aku selalu jadi victim. Im still remember when my previous birthday, tomorrow got biology paper and I sleep at the space in our room, they they all swarming around me and when I opened my eyes, they were singing a birthday song. Whaa. I wont forget that, girls! 

Okay, mama baked me a moist chocolate cake and cookies. Not bad even for she first attempt. At night, we're just ordering Pizza Hut that delivered to home. Thats all. Im happy enough.

Ayah called me.

"Assalamualaikum.. happy birthday.."

"waalaikumussalam... hee "

"haa.. mama bagi ape?"

"mama bagi gelang emas..."

"dilla nak ape?"

"hrmmm...."

"iPad ..?"

Wakakaka! This is what i thought lol. How can dad read my mind.


So after having dinner, I continue to pack my stuffs for university admission. He was being my commander. You know lah, girls aight  photo a2.png. They will bring a lot of unimportant stuffs, their clothes punya banyak sampai two to three bags. So he led me. I bring the sleeveless about 6 pieces, he ask to cut down bring 2 only. Baju kurung from 5 became 4. Jubah from 5 became 4. And there are 15 hijabs, due of wearing hijab depends on the clothes (theme/colours) that we wear, so he just let me to bring it all. For t-shirt muslimah, he ask me to remove clothes that seems sparse and thin, so that I wuldnt burden myself to wear inner shirt inside. The bottoms are all enough. Done.  He's very good anyway! Not badimage. This is one of the reson why I need him so much. I just didnt tell him the reasons. Haha. Malulah. I lucky to have him, kalau tak habis lotsa stuffs I will bring to the university like when I was entering for foundation long time ago.

This is before he lead me in packing stuffs. Penuh.

There's not much stuff in this box. I just put pillow, bedsheet, big mirror and light stuffs.

Banyak isnt? I'll try to cut down the clothes with his cooperation.

Taraa  photo 01.gif So these are all the stuffs I will bring to university. I reaaaally cant believe it sikit jea barang, not like before. So it will be easy for my dad to carry the things. Actually during his turn to pack his stuffs also, led by me. Haha. He brought the clothes punyalah sikit in which making me angry. I asked him to add more! He asked me to cut down! And that moment he folded his clothes nicely while me? Ala kadar je lipat. Such a mess. Haha. Thats all the story for yesterday and today, he is heading to KL. Fi hifzillah sayang. Drive safely. Gonna meet you there, in shaa Allah. Tajdid niat nak study. Jihad fi sabilillah. 
Yesterday my family and I was having iftar at KL. After iftar and performed Maghrib prayer. We went to Jalan Tar. So stuck. Crowded with public people and cars. Anyway, it feels pretty worthless shopping at there. I brought 2 casual abayas, 2 top knitted long-sleeves and 1 hijab (bawal 60'). Im so surprised when we were walking thru the shops suddenly my dad offered me to buy an outfit macam masa style dulu-dulu padahal aku langsung tak pandang dah. He said, "Takpe.. beli jelah, pakai dekat rumah.." and asked me to buy two clothes. Waa. such understanding dedi! Tahu-tahu jeh yang aku memang rindu pun nak pakai baju-baju cantik macam dulu. Here I left a photos of Im wearing that tops. Sorry, I dont show you the abayas. Kawaii !



 Getting lazy today.  Listening to Mirror - Justin Timberlake. 

Woke up at  11.30am and continue close my lashes and finally woke up after 30 minutes. And yes, I didnt sleep for the whole night  yesterday till Fajr. So Hi beautiful August, my favourite month ever! The month of my birthday. Hehe. Wont tell you the date, nanti dah celebrate baru bagitahu. Anyway, on twitter, facebook or perhaps instagram pasti akan kecoh2 pasal birthday lala. What a shameless promotion. Haha. Im kidding! So on that night, I was spamming someone chatbox. I know that he was sleeping, while I am so bored. "So, this is whatchu got when you're didnt accompany me."  Culd be that cute when Im with him. Well, I think Im not gonna contact him till the last Ramadhan, cause I am too busy. Haha. So do I care? Go talk to another girl lah.


I guess you guys wanna know who is this man It is difficult to explain, you may not understand.
However this is not my boyfriend. I wont get in love with a man before nikah, and if I'd fall in love sekalipun, I will try to distance myself apart from that "feeling". This guy, we're still in progress of Ta'aruf, I never met him before and I was kinda curious why I never seen this person eventhough we were studying at the same place for a year! Perhaps, we ever bum into each other but there's must be a hikmah why I didnt realize him, too close! Anyway, he always saw me, he just didnt talk to me. Mum already know about this guy severally, because all I want physically ada pada dia yang other ex-boyfriends selama ni tiada langsung. He's too complete I guess. We had deal about this. In shaa Allah if we are meant to be, we will step on the next stage: Nikah.
Maybe awal? Kerana itu lebih baik.

Islam is simple. It is not necessarily get into relationship with an excuse to know each other. Tidak semestinya bercinta kena couple. Some people do not be in relationship (couple) but they knew each other before marriage and love after marriage. Eventhough you have been in relationship (couple) with him through 20 years, you will never know who is him! All you know is your partner's acting. Lakonan dia semata-mata. Thats why in Islam, ada proses ta'aruf (kenal). Kenal dulu pasangan kita sebelum bernikah dan bercinta selepas nikah. Itu lebih menguntungkanmu and in shaa Allah you have a happiness until Jannah, not Jahannam.