When I'm Out From Under

It is my last day today at home before I'm going back to my university, UPM. Everything has done. I dont know Im being so heartless this moment. Something has just went wrong and I couldnt help myself with it. I'm out. And I feel like I want to end this, stop myself from chasing something I dont think it belong to me.
I'm out the line.

So let just being someone new.
My heart will be unbroken, it will open up to everyone. Even when I cross the line, its like a lie I've told a thousand times. Last night, before sleeps, I finally did tawbah prayer (the prayer of repentance) because I cant sleep that moment. I was thinking deeply, plus ton of emotions hit me so hard that night lagilah. All I can do is, crying. Seeking for something.

Screw everything, I feel like done.

I dont want to be that stupid, I have pride and not gonna lose my dignity to any men out there. I just can't trust them somehow. So how am I gonna fall in love if I dont even trust them? I try to trust this guy and almost giving him my trust but entah, it is too early, Im not ready so do him, isnt. I know. Enough, cukup dengan semua permainan. Kalau tak bersedia janganlah masuk line aku. If they really want me, they have to work for it. Because I wasnt born to chase people. 

Instead of telling that I deserved better, I would have said I deserved someone who had never giving up on me. Worth me. Because if I found this man, I wont let him go. I know that there's many guys out there want me, so Im not bothered if I gonna lose someone. And please, please make me believe you. I will wait for it. Sorry if my words are too offence.

Its easy to grab me but not my trust.


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