Showing posts from July, 2015

"I don't want to be alone"

"O' Lord, I don't want to be alone, cherish my life."
Everytime I performed solah, I always pray (also wherever I go) that I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be left hanging. I'm scare.

Did you know that since I was a small kid, I cannot wake up and realize that no one is in home. I'll cry. Until now, even though saya dah masuk universiti, saya akan rasa sunyi tanpa roommate saya, I can't survive to wake up alone. Sebab dari kecil lagi saya memang macam tu. Pernah suatu ketika masa saya berada di tingkatan 1, saya sekolah pada sesi petang tapi saya sanggup bangun awal pagi bersama-sama dengan mama dan ayah sebelum mereka bergerak pergi kerja. But still, I felt alone, I watched a television, it's a cartoon which is my favourite, I cried while watching it.

Because.. I don't want to be alone.

I do text my roommate whenever she's going out. Doesn't mean I'm scare of ghost haha no! But I just cannot wake up alone. Do I look lik…

How was my eid 2015/1436 H

Ermm the first day was a bit gloomy because some of my family members didn't come back on the first syawal. I performed syawal prayer but I forgot to make nawaitu before taking shower lol, I always forgot to do that every syawal.

Location: Changkat Jering, Perak.

Make up by myself. Setiap kali beraya di rumah saudara dekat kampung, masing-masing tertanya saya ni anak siapa sebab bila make up mereka cakap muka saya lain haha ada yang cakap muka saya macam seorang pelakon wakaka. Okay let's move to another pictures of me!

All right, that's all my photos to share. Let's take a look my family's pictures.

Rather to be rejected than being dejected

I'm just people's another option, I always be the last. It's hurt when we make people that we love as our priority but to them, we are just their option. They will come to us whenever they feel bored or when they need someone to talk, they know that we will always be there so they take a granted on us. As their last option when they have nobody.

Are we wrong?

For me, if this happen, I think I rather choose my way which is my past-ways to entertain myself, talk to some random guys, make friends, going out to have fun, socialize like before only in a friend-zoneno feeling just having fun being single but friendly than focusing on someone that I love but never care about me. I am so dejected right now I wish to be strong. Ok bye.

But remember, the last one stay.

Meet my goth-sister and kpop-brother

I have siblings of different backgrounds but came from the same mother's womb. If you know my family well, you will see a lot of differences between me and my siblings. We three have our own style and personality.

My sister, Aida, is kinda like a gothic, she loves goth, punk style and she like black so much. She pursue diploma in Arts and Design at UiTM Sri Iskandar. She's kinda stubborn and rough too, and involve in fights a lot since school, she's one of the girl that her name up in the expelled list. Almost! haha Futhermore, she shops at Zalora so much. All of her shoes and accessories are from Zalora. And of course, black is her appearance. Sometimes I called her hipster hahahaha. She's friendly, easy to get along but not handle. When I bring her together to hangout with my friends, she's the one who talk so much until my friends ignore me and chat with her blergh.

And my brother, Amir. A boy but complicated. He's so choosy in styling, only wear branded clo…

The Essence of Time & Faith

I admit that I'm not a forgiver, to those who hurt me before or doing something nasty towards my dignity. All I do is, forget that person, freeze the moment and keep moving forward. I am too fragile. Too broken to be breakable.

Time heals
Faith gives strength.

These two things really work for me. Without time and faith I will never accept them anymore to be friends again.

And without love, I may be couldn't accept him. There's a part of him that I disliked, but then I forget the bad side because I do think about his kindness too and the good memories we had . Not all about him that I like, I'll get used to it someday.

Talk about accepting. Till then, x

Don't cheat, I love you

There are several pains in this life.

Losing someone we loveBeing lied with someone we trustBeing cheated with someone we love and trust.

I used to think about this cheating thingy. Whether I'm the one who cheat or my partner will cheat. But whatever happens, I'm not gonna put the highest rate of hope, I maybe sad, sad like insane but that will be temporary, I only depend on Allah, He will never break us and He's the one who cure our pain right?

Be faithful, I love you.

Do not 100% judge people based on their social pages, you might lose their real personality

You speak nicely in front of me but then you give me a piece of filthy insinuation behind me. Do you have a problem with me? You know zero about myself so you take an opportunity to judge me through my social medias, don't you know that in virtual, 90% contains untrue information about oneself. You cannot trust people through it.

So do I. You can't trust me cybernetic-ally. Yeah I know you will say that our social media pages show who we are, kan? So that you will lose them in reality because all in your mind is based on people's social networks.

So you will lose my real personality in reality life. Au revoir.

I don't mind at all, my life alhamdulillah is completed, sufficient, peaceful and comfortable. Say whatever you want, call me whatever you want and label me whatever you thought. I am no bother argue with people like you.

So, you really want to know about me in cyberspace don't you? Let me introduce myself back to you oh people, my name is Nurul Adilla but it …