I believe that if I did not get things that I want in my life, Allah will give me another one. New. And better. I did try my best to get something I want but if I still didn't get it even lose it, I am not the one who loss. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I put all my hopes on Allah and He is with me. Redha. Tawakkal.
I wanna make myself happy. Like before. *Flashback* I'm tired crying myself out loud every time when I go to bed. I even can't close my lashes and overly think about "things that will never happens" until I lose control and wake up that I've lost everything in reality. That was me- before. I was perpetually confused about what I really want in life. Flashback end.
Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I've lost. I'm learning to stand up for the things I want and the people I love.